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Waluigi
Dr. Professor Waluigi (1363 AD - 1404 AD) was a physician, professor at Yale University (from 1384 - 1399) and an atomic scientist. He helped Mick Foley and Dick Kickem establish The Order of Mankind. He had a long history with the powerful, ancient deity, Liam. In the end, that caused his downfall, as he was terminated by the CIA for this. Waluigi could be described as a great man, who only ever wanted to benefit humanity. One of his notable Yale students is Crash Bandicoot, who betrayed the Order. Before his inevitable demise, Waluigi nuked the entire Middle East, and Parts of North Africa. Before his death, he made an attempt on the life of his longtime research partner and former friend, Liam. This attempt was in vain, as the CIA raided the lab. But, before they could execute him, Waluigi triggered a nuclear explosion that destroyed the entire complex, believing Liam to be dead. This was not the case. History Waluigi was born on the morning of November 1st, 1363. As a child, Waluigi was a very intelligent boy, reading Shakespeare at the age of four. By the time he was 15, he was designing atomic bombs. At the age of 17, he was hired by Mayor McCheese of McDonaldland to create an atomic bomb powerful enough to wipe out the citizens of The Burger Kingdom. He was given 2,000,000,000,000 dollars to do this. This kept Waluigi rich for life. With this money, he was able to continue his research, and he even set up his own college at the age of 29, Yale University. He had built another college as well, which was Harvard University. During his teenage years, he began diving into psychedelic drugs and listening to bands like Pink Floyd, Grateful Dead, and The Doors. He often went to music festivals and did acid. He let his hair grow out, wore bell bottoms, wore Lennon glasses, and wore tie dye shirts. At one of these festivals, he met his future best friend and research partner, Liam. They would often research for hours, then drop acid and party. Finally, at the age of 29, Waluigi abandoned his party lifestyle and settled down and built two colleges, Yale and Harvard. He hired his future husband, Wario, as a quantum physics professor. As time went on, they became great friends, and eventually lovers. They got married on June 3rd, 1396. During the bachelor party, Waluigi and Liam got into a physical altercation which left Waluigi with both of his arms broken. This was over a dispute about who was better at bowling. As time went on, they became bitter enemies. This would eventually lead to Waluigi's downfall. In 1397, he met his future partner and co-founder of The Order of Mankind, Mick Foley. Together, using the money he was given from McDonaldland, they started the rebellion against the gods. The Siege of McDonaldland The Siege of McDonaldland took place on March 3rd, 1401. The battle officially began at 9:03 AM. This was the first action of rebellion by The Order of Mankind. It was directed by war general Dick Kickem, who disobeyed the plans of Waluigi and Mick Foley. Originally, their plan was to talk to Mayor McCheese in hopes to convince him to leave the order. But, Dick Kickem believed that McCheese was too afraid of losing the protection that the Godhood had offered them. So, on the morning of March 3rd, Dick Kickem sent in 30,000 RoboCops to begin attacking citizens of McDonaldsland. The attack on citizens was to show the Godhood that Mankind isn't afraid to kill anyone standing in their way. During the siege, Mayor McCheese himself came to blows with Alex Murphy. While it was a close fight, the RoboCop slew Mayor McCheese by impaling him through the chest with an American flag. Meanwhile, in The Order of Godhood's McDonaldland Embassy, about 15 RoboCops ganged up on Wesley Willis. He was kicking their asses, until Batman threw a batarang at him from behind. Wesley fell over, and was then attacked by the RoboCops. Batman is a fucking asshole. As he laid there defenseless, he smiled as he told everyone to evacuate the area. As soon as everyone left, a tear rolled down his cheek as he smiled and said "FUCK YOU JERKS" and he pulled out a remote controlled bomb detonator. He pressed the button and the embassy exploded, destroying a decent amount of RoboCops. After the death of two of his major allies, Liam himself stepped in. He furiously shot lasers out of his eyes and destroyed 3/4 of the RoboCops present. Seeing this, Dick Kickem decided to withdraw all of his forces. Most of McDonaldland had been destroyed on that day. Jimmy resurrected Mayor McCheese, and McCheese got in contact with Waluigi. Waluigi tried to explain it was a miscommunication, but McCheese didn't buy it. On the night of March 19th, 1401, McCheese and a group of McDonaldland soldiers found Waluigi's husband, Wario. They ganged up on him and beat him to a pulp. McCheese stabbed him in the stomach with a sword, but Waluigi was able to get paramedics to save his life in time. Leadership of The Order of Mankind and eventual death From 1401-1404, Waluigi took over as the leader of The Order of Mankind. This is because Mick Foley was disgusted with what had happened at McDonaldland, and he permanently became his Dude Love persona. He did not want to fight anymore. He was a broken man. He hated himself. His wife and children had left him. Waluigi's eventual death lead to Mick Foley's return to the Cactus Jack persona, his most extreme and brutal persona. Under Waluigi's leadership, there were multiple military conflicts between the two factions of Mankind and Godhood. One such occasion is the assault on Yale University, where Waluigi's protege, Crash Bandicoot, shot up the university with an assault rifle. This had left most of the inhabitants dead, and it was a massive crippling blow to Mankind. Waluigi and the remaining members of the order moved to Harvard University. By 1403, the community had expanded and The Order of Mankind was near it's full size. In March of 1404, he was informed by one of his most trusted advisers, a spy that pretended to be in The Order of Godhood, that Liam was planning a full scale invasion on Harvard. They were going to go all out. Waluigi planned to stop this at any cost. Waluigi knew that Liam gets all of his power from his followers, mostly in parts of Northern Africa and The Middle East. Waluigi returned to Transylvania, with a mass army of over 100,000 RoboCops. They began a siege on Bran Castle, also known as Liam's Keep. The RoboCops fought off all guards of Liam's castle as Waluigi made a dash to the lab. Once in there, he found the control console that controlled over 300 nuclear missiles. He targeted the following areas: Before he could press the button, he was confronted by Liam himself. Before Liam could take action, Waluigi shot a laser pistol from the hip. Liam's face melted, and he fell off of the launch platform. Waluigi believed that this killed Liam, but this was not the case. He pressed the button and nuked the areas shown in the picture. As he made an attempt to escape, a sniper's bullet hit him in the shoulder. The bullet's force spun him around and he fell the ground. He crawled back in pain, and laid on the cold steel ground. As he looked up, he saw a CIA agent standing over him. He was talking into an ear piece. Waluigi was in shock, and did not catch what he was saying. The agent had a cocky smile on his face. The agent stopped talking, and pulled out a pistol with a silencer on it. He began to ask Waluigi if he had any last words, and Waluigi read his lips and smiled. He said "Yes, if you'll let me, I'd like to say a couple things before death...". He quickly pulled out a bomb detonator, said "FUCK YOU" and pushed the button, exploding the lab, bringing the ceiling down and killing everyone (besides Liam) inside. This marked the death of Waluigi. Impact and legacy The death of Waluigi hit The Order of Mankind hard. This event was enough to drive Dude Love to become Cactus Jack. The only gods saddened by this were Bjork and Jimmy. Waluigi's death and the AVGN's death caused Waluigi's husband, Wario, to unlock his hidden Saiyan heritage. Harvard College erected a 30-foot statue of Waluigi, to honor him. His death sparked the creation of the Investigate 3/11 Movement. Cactus Jack has stepped up as the leader of Mankind again. The Order of Mankind plans to attempt to fix relations with McDonaldland, and they plan to travel to Universe 7 to recruit Alex Murphy and his army of RoboCops. Meanwhile, it is unknown what The Order of Godhood plans to do.